Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
