i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize