That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
