haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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