I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
