Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
