Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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