i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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