I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
