Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
