I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
