please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
