Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
