So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
