very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sext me about skeletons
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
