Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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