i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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