So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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