Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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