Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
