He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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