need another drink. this is the easiest way
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
