TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Two words: blizzard sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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