So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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