I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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