after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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