i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
