Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
