Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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