ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
