I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
