so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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