I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
