I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
