Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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