my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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