wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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