Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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