Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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