He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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