The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
