i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
