What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
