Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
