I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
