I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize