she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
