I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
