I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish i was in the wii world.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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