i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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