saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
