Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
