We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
