sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
