where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
