dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
