did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
