Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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