Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
