everyone is single if you try hard enough
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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